Hi Auntie,
I am a 13-year-old teenager and I am facing many challenges in my surroundings. I live in a joint-family system and it really disturbs my studies. Every day someone comes to visit my grandmother and I live in a society where I’m not allowed to go out or study on the rooftop. Also, I study in the government sector, so my teachers don’t appreciate me.

My uncle has been jobless for more than five years and he’s very abusive. He talks nonsense, because he doesn’t have anything to do and has four children. My grandmother bears all their expenses, including utility bills, food supplies, clothing, shelter and everything else.

‘Instability at Home is Making Me Depressed’

My mother is a single mom, as my dad left us. Hence, it’s difficult for us to move out from here, because we have our own expenses. My mom works in a school. 

There’s no peace in my house. My biggest escape from all this is school. I can’t focus on my goals and this has led me to be angry all the time. I am an only child and also feel lonely and depressed, but I don’t show it.
Depressed and Lonely

Use school to motivate yourself. Remind yourself that this is temporary. The more you learn, the stronger you’ll become and the more options you’ll have for a better future.

Dear Depressed and Lonely, 
Thank you for sharing your story. You’re carrying a lot on your young shoulders and the situation at your home is affecting you deeply. Living in a joint family, especially with financial struggles and an abusive environment, can be overwhelming.

First, your feelings are valid. It’s okay to feel upset about everything that’s happening around you. You’re in a tough situation and it’s not your fault.

While it may not feel like it right now, focusing on your studies and setting goals for yourself is your best way out of this chaos in the long term. I know it’s hard to concentrate when there’s so much noise, but try finding a small peaceful corner for yourself. Could you talk to your mother or another trusted adult about finding a quiet hour during the day?

Use school to motivate yourself. Remind yourself that this is temporary. The more you learn, the stronger you’ll become and the more options you’ll have for a better future. And don’t worry about the lack of encouragement in school. You have to believe in yourself, even if no one else seems to.

As for loneliness... Do you have friends at school or a cousin that you can talk to? Sharing your feelings with someone you trust can help. Try keeping a journal to write down your thoughts.

I know your situation is tough, but remind yourself that tough times don’t last forever. Keep going. Sending you strength.

Disclaimer: If you or someone you know is in crisis and/or feeling suicidal, please go to your nearest emergency room and seek medical help immediately.

Auntie will not reply privately to any query. Please send concise queries to: auntieagni@gmail.com

Published in Dawn, EOS, December 15th, 2024